Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Divorce is not Genetic

Dear Danielle,

I am engaged to a man who has a family history of marital dysfunction including his parents nasty divorce. My fiancee has always been stable and healthy. However, everyone around him can't seem to stay married, and the ones that stay married aren't living the type of happy lives we envision for ourselves. I am scared there is some kind of family curse when it comes to relationships. My fiancee says I am crazy, that he is not like his family but should I be concerned?

"Dreading Divorce"

Dear "Dreading Divorce",

The first step to not repeating unhealthy family patterns is acknowledging them. If your fiancee is aware of the faults in the relationship approaches of his family members, then I would not be concerned. Instead of merely telling him you are scared, point out some of the values you believe are important to successful marriages and make sure you are both on the same page. If you share quality communicating and common goals you will be fine. Sometimes the apple DOES fall far from the tree.

No comments:

Post a Comment