Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Life is short. Don't have an affair.

Did you know that there is an online dating service to help married people find lovers for extra-marital affairs? It is called Ashley Madison and it's slogan is: "Beat bedroom boredom...life is short. have an affair." I was not shocked when I heard of the popularity of this site, but I was sad. As a strong believer in the 10 commandments, I often am perplexed at how paramount social justice/moral values such as "thou shall not steal" and "thou shall not commit adultery" are so easily discarded in our society. A person need not be religious to see how avoiding envy and not murdering (along with the other laws espoused by the 10 commandments) can make our communities safer and ultimately happier. So why have we so easily given up on striving for these ideals?

Yes, the bedroom of a married couple can sometimes feel boring. But is that an excuse for adultery? And what disturbs me most is the correlation that Ashley Madison makes between the concept that "life is short" and adultery. If life is short shouldn't we live the best life we can? If life is short shouldn't we try our hardest to make our marriage the happiest and strongest it can be, rather than creating mistrust and dishonesty?

Judaism acknowledges that sex can become boring, and creates many provisions in terms of when sex is permissible with the goal of creating desire for married couples. Whether you can relate to religious law that deals with sex, or not, it raises the question:

Maybe our society is so over-sexed that we erroneously think we need multiple partners to be satisfied when really we need to encourage more "wanting" amongst spouses?

What do you think of Ashley Madison, and the prevalence of extra-marital affairs in our society...

1 comment:

  1. Hi there! I have play devils advocate in this subject. While I do not agree with adultery and the website is rediculous to begin with, I do believe that One has to consider reasons for even having an affair in the first place. Sometimes a partner's need whether it be emotionally, spiritually or sexually is not being met in the current relationship. The sadness about that is it creates madness so much so that someome has too look outside to get what they are missing with the person they created their life with. I do agree that life is too short to stay in miserable relationships. HOnesty, trust, loyalty and communication is key but sometimes those elements are not there .It's important to try to rectify problems to begin with. But one cannot judge the act of an affair. It's not all about sex.