Dear Danielle,

I have been dating a guy for around 3 months, and in August he invited me to go away with him to a spa in a nearby beach town for the weekend. He planned the trip, including the restaurants we went to and the spa treatments we received. My boyfriend eagerly payed for everything the whole weekend, which I thought was expected as he had invited me on the trip and coordinated it. However, about a week after we returned home, he mentioned to me casually that I owed him $415, for half of the trip costs. I was shocked but I held it inside and told him I would pay him back. I could not believe that after inviting me on a trip and planning and paying for it only afterwards he asked me to contribute. He has a stable job (although he is not swimming in money), and I am a graduate student on a tight budget. I never would have agreed to go away thinking I would be paying that much. I even bought him an expensive cashmere sweater after the trip as a "thank you gift" thinking that he had treated me! Am I off base to be furious?

Signed,

"Dating a Cheapskate"


Dear "Dating a Cheapskate,"

You are not off base at all, in fact I think you should mail him a check for your share and then break up with him. He is obviously not a considerate or generous person. If he intended to have you contribute to the costs of the trip he should have discussed this with you before you went away. If asking you to pitch in was an after thought for him, then he should have known better than to ask a woman for money that he is in a relationship with AFTER he took her away on a romantic weekend. Something is off with him and I would stay far away.