Thursday, December 10, 2009

LISTS ARE FOR GROCERY SHOPPING - NOT FOR LOVE

Dear Danielle,


I have always had a list of what I am looking for in the man I will marry. I know that no one I meet will possess every quality on my list, but I believe each person should strive for the best that life has to offer - and why should seeking a mate be any different? My friends and family often say I am too picky, but I am in my early 30's, beautiful and a successful dermatologist so I feel like I shouldn't settle. How do I convince my loved ones that my soul mate is out there and I should expect the best?


Signed,
"Searching for Mr. Right"


Dear "Searching for Mr. Right,"


A wise person once told me, that amazing women who look for the 100% perfect guy always remain single - while the amazing women who are smart enough to go for the 90% perfect guy are the ones who are happily married and not dining alone on a friday night. In short, you might be awesome but you have your own faults. Scrap your list and look for someone who will be a loyal friend and lover for life, faults and all. Maybe it is easier for you to say you haven't met "the one" yet, then risk being in a real relationship, faults and all. You might be a perfectionist in the hospital, but you have to learn to be flexible and realistic when it comes to your personal life.

2 comments:

  1. As usual, Danielle has given the "perfect" advice to "Searching for Mr. Right". However, there is an additional technique that might be useful to people stuck in the circumstances of "Searching for Mr. Right". This may sound a bit like a "New Age" approach (maybe even a lot "New Age") but it has been very sucessful for many years in many high performance sports such as tennis, skiing, golf, etc. ou have probably all heard about it, visualization. The partner seeker should form a mental image of the partner they seek and visualize or basically meditate on their desired partner's qualities, characteristics, and appearance, etc. This may sound like just another "list" approach but it goes much further and it seems to work much better. Nothing is bullet-proof but it is worth trying.

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  2. Good advice! I once read that you should always go for the men who will be your best friend and not necessarily the hottest guy you meet (those ones often are cocky and egotistical).
    I'm dating a nerd and perfectly happy, besides the fact that we live 4 hours apart

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