Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Dear Danielle,

I have been friends with the same woman for 10 years. I got married last year and she has been dating the same guy for two years. We have started going on regular double dates with them, and lately we have been seeing them every week or two. Up until recently, we would have had so much fun with them and my husband really gets along with her boyfriend. The problem is - lately they have been fighting a lot and nearly every time we have gotten together over the last few months they have fought throughout our double date. If they aren't fighting there is tension between them and the night always turns out to be stressful. My husband is refusing to go out with them again, but my friend called me last night to make plans for this week and I feel guilty bailing. Am I a bad friend to stop making plans with them because of their fighting? Should I tell her it is driving us crazy?


"Double Date Disaster"

Dear "Double Date Disaster,"

Your husband is justified in wanting to avoid a night out with a tumultuous couple. Call your friend and tell her that you have noticed some tension between her and her boyfriend and ask if she wants to talk about it. Being a good friend means being a good listener and providing support, but it doesn't mean that you have to withstand their bickering. Until you get an indication from her that things are smoother in her relationship, possibly girls only nights out are the way to go. No need to directly tell her your husband can't stand their fighting, but suggest to her that you two need some alone time away from the "boys".

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