I'm a senior in high school and dealing with my newest guy dilemma. I was dating seriously for a year and broke it off recently. I have been feeling lonely and am not used to being a single girl. I am receiving attention from guys like I never have before, and the worst part is that the one guy I do like now doesn't seem to be interested. I think he's perfect for me and in some ways everything my last boyfriend was plus more, i.e. we are going in the same direction and have similar goals and values. We talk every few days online and hang out on weekends. We've had great private conversations and I know he thinks of me as a good friend now, but can't tell if he likes me as anything more. It kills me not know if he's interested, and bothers me even more that I care so much. Am I just obsessed with his attention because I'm suddenly single? What should I do?
"Confused and Lonely"
Dear "Confused and Lonely,"
It is totally normal for a teenage girl to seek out romantic relationships with boys to fulfill the need for intimacy, friendship and closeness - not to mention getting attention from a member of the opposite sex always makes us feel good. However, often boys of the same age are not thinking about or interested in the same type of emotional connection. It sounds cliche but it is true, girls at your age are typically much more mature then boys.
You say that you have felt lonely since your break-up with your ex, and it is no wonder considering most teenage couples spend long hours talking on the phone and hanging out after school. It can feel strange not to have a "partner" to do that with anymore. However, keep in mind there is a difference between feeling "lonely" and "alone." Meaning, one can feel alone but still feel independent, strong, confidant and close to friends and family. Being lonely connotes an element of sadness and withdrawal from those around you. Even though you aren't dating someone now focus on getting yourself out of this lonely slump you're in by hanging out with good girlfriends, being involved in extra-curricular activities and playing sports. Surround yourself with positive energy. I guarantee then the boys will come crawling to you and then you can decide if you even need them or not! You can't force this boy who you like now to be into you as more than friends, you just got to be the best version of yourself and if it is meant to be it will happen...