You probably know by now, just as does most of the free world, that Jon Gosselin was kicked off of the TLC show baring his name and that shortly afterwords he announced he was trying to get his kids off the air for the sake of their well being. I don't have children yet, but it does sadden me that kids can be used as pawns in a game of money, fame and exploitation.
I have been noticing lately, models of parenting from one extreme to the next. What I mean by that is, the Gosselin's might have sacrificed their children's well being for their own gains, but many parents of young children that I know sacrifice their own happiness for their children's...and I don't mean in a good way.
For instance, I know a mom who just bought a thousand dollar Bugaboo stroller for her daughter and 12 pairs of baby shoes, while my acquaintance complains that she can't afford a good haircut for herself or a date night with her husband. All too many moms I know seem to ignore their own needs, not just for the sake of feeding and caring for the basic needs of their kids, but also in order to provide material possessions that aren't necessary. This sense of self-sacrifice might make them feel like perfect giving parents, but actually will probably result in spoiled perpetually un-satisfied children. When parents sacrifice there own romantic time or clothing budget so their kids can have one more stuffed animal, not only are parents teaching kids that nothing is ever "enough" in life, but also that its OK to let one's marriage go.
Jon and Kate Gosselin might have put their own financially success before creating a healthy childhood for their kids, but is that worse then parents who sacrifice their own sanity for the sake of a Burberry back pack for their two year old? Balance when it comes to parenting seems to be a challenge. I know it is harder then it looks.
Any suggestions from parents out there on how to balance the needs of mom and dad while still providing for the kids?
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Dear Danielle,
ReplyDeleteit is fairly obvious to me from your response that you do not have children and come from an affluent background. I say this because when you become a mother (parent) you become responsible for your children and along with that comes the incredible drive to provide your child with the very best you can. sometimes we go overboard to our detriment - but look at it another way - there is an element of selflisness in your friends' behaviour and often people confuse expense with safety, which your friend may have done. I say cut your friend some slack and allow her to figure out the delicate balance of kids vs couple that all new parents go through. It is a learning experience that should be encouraged and supported by you with sensitivity and grace and not judgement from someone who has yet to even understand how a mother feels.
Also, say what you want about jon and kate - they were faced with insane prospects of having to raise 8 children at the age of 24-25 years old. With the average child costing almost 200 grand in a lifetime - that almost 2 million dollars would be overwhelming and scary to anyone. they did what they had to do to ensure the financial welfare and security of their children - kate was there the entire time and manages to cook all organic and home cooked meals, her kids are polite and well cared for - i dont think you can fault them for finding a way to keep food on the table. the money from the show will enable the gosslins to care for their children well into the future. Btw, ever thought about what would happen if they didn't do the show? our tax money would be supporting them, so be thankful they found a way to support themselves. to sum - be more sensitive and less judgemental of others - especially when you are sitting in a "prettier" place