Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Dear Danielle,

My husband and I have been married for 3 years. We are both in our late 20's/early 30's and I am ready to have a baby. All of my friends are now sporting "baby bumps"and I feel left out. I know I would be a great mom and I don't want to risk having fertility problems if I wait until I am in my mid-30's. My husband is very consumed with his career and says we are young and have time to have kids later after we've saved up more money. How do I convince him that we shouldn't wait to conceive?

"Begging For A Baby"

Dear "Begging For A Baby,"

The rate of pregnancies usually goes up during a recession, because making love is a cheap form of entertainment. Sorry to hear you and your husband aren't on the same baby clock. Often a woman's internal clock ticks away while men do not feel that innate time sensitive drive to procreate. I suggest that you speak to your husband about his specific concerns regarding having a child now. Perhaps he is having anxiety about being a father in addition to his financial concerns. Depending on a person's own upbringing and parents, the prospect of having children of their own can be associated with feelings of fear. If your husband insists that there aren't additional reasons why he isn't ready, then I suggest you set a time frame. When does he think he will be ready? If he says six months to a year, then I would be patient. If he says longer then I would suggest a compromise. Remind him that there is no "right time" for having kids, and it will always mean a change in lifestyle.

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