Friday, August 28, 2009

How Old Is Too Old?

Dear Danielle,

I get set up on a lot of blind dates. I am 29 years old and sometimes the men I get set up with are upwards of 10 years older than me. Last week, I went on a date with a divorcee with 3 kids. He is 43 years old. He is fit and financially secure, and we did not stop laughing when we were together - but I can't help wondering, how old is too old? Should I keep on dating him or find a guy closer to my age?

"Dating My Dad"

Dear "Dating My Dad",

The question is less "how old is too old?" and more "do we want the same things out of life considering our age difference?" Even though you have just met, it may be important before you continue dating, to find out the following things:

-are you on the same page when it comes to having kids of your own in the future?

-does he want to get re-married one day? do you want to get married?

-has he gotten over the divorce and the despair often involved with the crumbling of a marriage? If not, are you prepared to deal with this?

These issues might seem way too serious and personal to bring up so early on; however, when dating a man at such a different life stage than you it is important to find out if you want the same things out of life. It doesn't matter how much he makes you laugh, if he brings along relationship baggage which is too much for you to handle. I suggest you let him know how much you enjoyed your first date, but considering your obvious lifestyle and age differences you'd like to discuss a few things with him. If he isn't open to addressing your concerns he wasn't right for you in the first place.

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